Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Shaq's Bad Rap

Over the past couple of days, basketball star Shaquille O'Neal has been catching it from all sides regarding his Kobe rap. While I agree he should be chastised publicly and privately, I don't find his words as offensive as his freestyling abilities. At one point during this rudimentary rap, he used the word "horse" in an effort to rhyme a word with divorce. Horse belongs in a country and western song, not a hip hop tune. Weren't there any other words at his disposal? Of course. Source. Force. As a matter of fact, force would have been an excellent choice, but instead we got horse and that's just wrong.

Who's to blame? While Shaq was the source of a most egregious lyrical moment, the audience members have the blood of hip hop on their hands too. Friends don't let friends rap poorly. It's an offense against nature. Booing should have commenced almost immediately to discourage Shaq from continuing the nasty display. At the very least, a super-sized hook should have emerged from backstage to pull him away when the horse comment came out. Was everyone drunk at this event? Were there no responsible persons available to stop one of the worst public freestyles in history? Whoa to the management of that establishment. I will be writing them a very stern letter on behalf of hip hop lovers everywhere. This type of irresponsibility cannot be tolerated.

Finally, after all the talk about the unfortunate remarks about Kobe, I wondered if it was worse to be the author of a horrible rap or be accused of licking ass. Shaq in-eloquently asserted throughout the course of the freestyle that Kobe was an ass licker. After careful contemplation, I will have to regretfully choose to be Kobe in this sad tale. He can most certainly deny the allegations. Shaq, however, will always and forever have the recording of his torturous tune on TMZ.