It was an absolutely gorgeous day in New York City today and I made the best of it by walking as much as possible. As I enjoyed the sights and sounds of the city, I noticed a particularly interest chorus of hoots and hollers from men traveling or working on the street. Usually I get a kick out of seeing and hearing the variety of ways men try to get attention, but after several hours in the Penn Station area, I'd had enough. "Hey baby, hey baby, hey baby" had gotten old and "Lord have mercy" started to sound almost blasphemous.
There were a few tactics, however, I found particularly striking. Today's blog is about my favorite - "Can I be your friend?" Even with New York's inhospitable reputation, several times throughout the day I was approached by men wanting to be-friend me. It was almost as if the city hired these characters as a makeshift welcome wagon committee to improve community relations. They were all so very excited to make a connection with a speed walking stranger. Of course, those who had the cardio training to keep up with my stealth-like pace, not only wanted my friendship, but my phone number as well.
The more this phenomena occurred, the more I wondered if this was a strategy that produced any results. Did men get women's phone numbers by offering to become best buds? I tried my hardest to think of any good friends I'd acquired from brief street interactions. Surprisingly, I couldn't think of one person. For me, friendships are based on common interests and not common routes to the train station. Did these men think I believed comradery was their focal point?
At my final train stop, I was approached by the last overly friendly New Yorker. When he offered to give me a call sometime, just to hang out, I asked if he really thought we could be friends. He said "sure, why not?" I said "great, my husband and I have been looking for some friends to hang out with." Suddenly, he lost interest in being my BFF. Perhaps in the five minutes that he got to know me better, he found my personality unappealing. I'm sure it wasn't the fact that I was married, since as far as I know married people have homies. Sadly, this marked the quickest friend break up of my life. Don't cry for me though...I have to run some errands tomorrow and I'm sure I'll get five construction workers, two cab drivers, three pedestrians, and one delivery truck driver to replace him. I only wish I had this many friends on myspace.
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This is so true! Guys do camouflage themselves as 5 sec friends to approach us now and let's face it "hey baby" and whistles are just another generation all together - probably someone old enough to be "yo daddy!" Just the other night a white Expedition pulled up beside me on the road and a guy lowered the back window to "holla" at me - "hey girl you wanna go out." Now let's keep in mind I drive a car and from the view of a Expedition it is quite clear that I may have 2 children based on the booster seats in the back. I have a hard time in these situations so I just yelled - "that wouldn't be a good idea.....I don't think my husband would like that very much." He still persisted. What is that? I don't just like to shrug people off at risk of being called "outside of my name" but they just don't accept no for an answer! I was so glad the stoplight changed and I was able to drive off! This new breed of men (boys) don't seem to care about commitment and that is very scary!
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